“Father Where Art Thou”
There is a little girl in every woman searching to be loved.
For those whose childhood is merely a reminiscent of “Daddy’s Little Girl,” knows that she never really grows up. We may “grow up,” find love and get married, but our spouses lovely as they are never truly take the place of a Father. For those of us who are what I like to call “Daughters of the Fatherless” did not grow up with that much-needed bond. Maybe we ignored the void, maybe there was no void or maybe some of us filled the void with relationships that seemed to take the place of our “missing” fathers.
I never had the void. I was an orphan, a ward of the states and I was content without my father… That is until I decided to find him. I got married a few years back and became curious when changing my name at the Social Security Office. The clerk inquired “who is your biological father listed on your birth certificate?” I looked at her and said, “I think Babatunde Mwongo Oshiro.” She entered the name and he was indeed listed as my father at the time of my birth, but how could I be sure? Today’s technology makes finding someone much easier than it was back in the day. Out of morbid curiosity I googled his name, saw a number listed and made the call. I awaited a response and got nothing. Twelve months later I tried again and got him. For the next 3 years I built a bond with a man who I felt was my father. From looks to personality down to talents we had too much in common not to be related, but we still had not taken a DNA test. So a week ago he decided that he was ready to solidify our relationship and like a show on Maury the results read, “You are 99.99% the father!”
Now how does the little girl who grew up inside me feel now? Well, she feels like a little girl again. Truth is… as an orphan I felt incomplete, but I conditioned myself to accept the circumstances of my life. I had always felt that I did not quite belong to anyone in particular. I felt disconnected in many ways as I lacked the knowledge of my familial history. As I got older, I wanted a family. I wanted to belong so I became willing to unaccept my circumstances. This is something I encourage others to do as well. Sometimes we become content with where we are. You don’t have to fight your circumstances, but one should have the life they envision. I chose to find a way to create the family I did not have.
I have always loved culture and embraced my African-Multiracial roots. Now I feel more prepared than ever to know the truth of my existence and how I came to be.
Father where art thou? I know you now.