Most women are guilty of faking orgasms at one time or another…
The reasons are varied: some women don’t want their man to feel like a bad lover, some don’t know how to “get there” or maybe it’s what the woman routinely does because she thinks it’s what’s expected of her. Although all this is understandable, faking orgasms it is not the best option. How do you start feeling the real thing?
If you have never had orgasms, you need to get to know your body. Take some time to educate yourself about female sexual pleasure. Get a book on the subject from your local library. Use a mirror to observe your genitals (a lot of women have no idea what they look like down there!), identify the areas that are pleasure triggers and learn to masturbate. If you know how to have orgasms yourself, then you can tactfully guide your man on how to best pleasure you.
Maybe you masturbate and have orgasms that way, but they are still bogus with your lover. Use this knowledge to guide your guy on what you need. Is it more foreplay, another sexual position, a vibrator? Your man cannot read your mind; you must let him know what you desire. It is not necessary to say you have been faking it. Be truthful, but respectful. Try something like, “Honey, I get so excited when you touch me down there! I would love it if you did it longer”. When he starts doing whatever it is you yearn for, remember to communicate how wonderful it feels!
Being anxious about an issue takes your focus off pleasure and makes it impossible to climax. In this case, each time your mind wanders you need to get your attention back to your man and to the great sex you are having. Deal with other issues at a time when you are NOT having a session between the sheets. This is easier said than done, but it is achievable with practice.
What are your thoughts on women, sex and orgasms? As a child, you may have learned that sex is “dirty”, “shameful” or that “nice girls do not talk about it”. These beliefs can carry on into adulthood and interfere with your sex life. How can you enjoy sex and have orgasms if it is contrary to your deep-set beliefs? If this is your case, it is important that you acknowledge that thoughts and beliefs can be changed and if you adjust the way you perceive these matters, it will set you free to be orgasmic with your lover.
If you think your concerns are more complex and you are experiencing pain, alcohol or drug abuse changes in your mood or ongoing problems with your man, please talk to your doctor. Effective treatment is available.
So, don’t settle for faking orgasms! Real ones are much better.