Ridiculous Standards We Have For The Modern Woman

A woman’s body must…

…always be hairless. 

Does hair naturally grow there? Well, that’s not acceptable. You’re gross. Go buy a razor.

Our generation is so anti-hair. But it wasn’t too long ago that no one shaved ANYTHING, and that was considered normal and accepted. These days, if you’re sitting with your boyfriend on the couch and he feels a little of your leg stubble, he’s probably going to jokingly throw out a snide remark about your impending caveman transformation.

Our society wants every part of a woman’s body to be as bare as a baby’s bottom.

But, seriously ladies, how does it make you feel to be completely hairless everywhere? It makes me feel like I’m four years old again. And that’s not exactly the sexiest feeling in the world, right?  I’m not anti-shaving—I don’t have the the slightest desire to grow it all out—but, c’mon society, if a girl has a little hair anywhere on her body, it’s not a big deal.

Shaving everyday hurts anyways. Razor burn is a real thing.

People who are grossed out by hair, get over it. We are mammals.

…be flawless.

We have zero tolerance for anything less than “perfect”. Women are on the chopping block, and everyone else is on the judging panel, armed with cutting opinions.

I’m just going to quote Tina Fey here, because Tina summed this one up quite nicely, I believe.

“I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” ~ Tina Fey

Nobody is perfect, and everyone is perfect.

We are all different, and we are all beautiful.

If you think you’re not good enough because you have too many baby hairs hanging out at the bottom of your neck, one of your boobs is bigger than the other, your nose is a little crooked– just stop. Let’s stop catering to society’s impossible expectations, and decide to love ourselves, no matter what.

Women can’ t be beautiful AND…

…smart.

When it comes to a beautiful woman, we equate her level of attractiveness with a lack of understanding of the world around her. If she’s beautiful, she must not care much for politics, current issues, or anything other than the color of her nails and the contents of her martini glass.

Most individuals I meet assume my head is full of air. Vacant. I couldn’t possibly be both attractive and intelligent. This goes against every social norm that’s been drilled into every member of our society since birth. Oh, and I’m also blonde. Gasp, yes. This puts me in an even dumber class of females, according to pop culture.

And I assume you noticed that in telling you these details about myself, I’ve revealed that I do, in fact, consider myself attractive. Scandalous, right? What could I be thinking? It’s even in writing!

Women cannot acknowledge our own beauty without being considered conceited, uppity, or full of ourselves… but that’s a topic for another article.

For now, let me simply state, emphatically, women can be beautiful and intelligent.

Women are divine creatures, beautiful in spirit, mind, and body. Write that down, recite it to yourself over and over, until you believe it in your soul. This includes myself, and you. Your mother. Your sister. Your friend. The barista that made your latte with extra whip this morning. Get the idea? Yeah, it’s a sacred truth. And not believing it, doesn’t make any less true.

…depressed or anxious. 

“Models are some of the most insecure people I’ve ever met.” -Miranda Kerr

The beautiful woman isn’t allowed to be sad, because she has no reason to feel down—she’s beautiful, so she should always be happy, right? We assume that her attractiveness must serve as her mood elevation. She’s just a cute, cheerful little ray of sunshine with no problems, all the time.

One in four women will experience some type of severe depression at some point in their life. This statistic is across the board, it’s not specific to any demographic of women. Depression is a form of mental illness, and it has biochemical roots. Depression stems from what’s on the inside, not the outside.

Recently an acquaintance of mine committed suicide. A beautiful young woman. Fit, attractive, independent, and living the modern woman’s dream… on the outside. Only now do those who knew her, realize she was struggling with severe depression. Following her death, social media feeds were flooded with posts about her worth, her value, and of how everything seemed fine, she seemed so happy and…beautiful. Somehow her attractiveness made her suicide so much more shocking.

We make a lot of assumptions, and we have been trained to make them, but we can all stop, pause, and reexamine. Beauty doesn’t equal happiness.

… bad with men. 

A beautiful woman probably has tons of men throwing themselves at her from all directions, and to her, its just another Tuesday, right?

Why does almost everyone assume that a beautiful woman is automatically a man-eater?

Most beautiful girls I know, when it comes to guys— guess what—they act like…girls. Shocker. We’re in our 20’s, and we’re not great with men. Sure, we’re better than we were in high school—we’ve finally realized how to make freakin’ small talk without having a panic attack—but do we still get nervous before first dates? Heck yeah. Do we still over analyze every single text message, in fear we’re texting the ultimate psycho f*ckboy? Duh. And do we second guess ourselves all the time and forget not to eat garlic on a first date, spill soy sauce all over his kitchen floor, and accidentally step on his dog’s tail and start nervously laughing? Unfortunately, it’s a “yes” to all of the above (and okay, I may have actually done some of those things. Okay, all of those things. Once. A long time ago).

Just because a girl has a pretty face, don’t assume she’s dating five different guys at once. And don’t assume she has a ton of experience dating. Chances are, she doesn’t, and she’s just out there hoping to stumble upon Mr. Right, while dodging all the Mr. Wrongs.

 

 

Danniah Daher

22-year-old writer, cat lover, runner. Buy me donuts and we can be friends.