Help! Christmas Is Coming And I Am Shy At Parties!

shy at parties

Don’t let your shyness keep you from enjoying Christmas parties!

The year has gone by so fast. You can’t believe it’s nearly Christmas again! Lots of presents, food, visiting friends, and…parties. You know there are a few bashes coming your way, if only people knew how difficult they are for you! Why? Because you are painfully shy….always have been.

Fear not, girl, help is on the way. The truth is, even if you have always been shy, it is something that you can overcome. Yes, you can stop suffering at gatherings and actually enjoy them!

So, why are some people shy? Well, among other things, it has to do with your early experiences with others, and the way you construed your world in your mind.

Maybe you remember being ridiculed by classmates in first grade after you spilled your milk. Perhaps you grew up in a family where it was overly important to be liked by others. The way you process these kind of experiences can leave you prone to beliefs like, “If somebody doesn’t approve of me it’s terrible”, “I can’t stand it if a person rejects me”, etc.

Fast-forward to the present. Now, when you go to parties, you feel you don’t fit in, or that you will say something stupid, or that people will laugh at you. What can you do? Here are some ideas that can help:

  • Start little by little! Begin by going to small get-togethers where you can practice talking to others without feeling overwhelmed. This will boost your confidence.
  • Don’t know what to say at parties? Take note of what other people chatter about. As a result, you will have a better idea of possible conversations.
  • Take the spotlight off yourself. Instead, pay attention to other folks. For example, listen to your acquaintance’s answers to your questions, or compliment the hostess on her gorgeous decorations.
  • If you notice those awful thoughts like “I look stupid” creeping up on you, don’t panic. Just breathe and focus on the person in front of you. In addition, keep in mind that negative thoughts are not necessarily the truth. Let them go.
  • Remember, it’s just a party, not a life-or-death situation. Relax and concentrate on the positive aspects. Maybe there is great music, tasty food, or interesting guys!
  • Watch your alcohol intake. Too much alcohol may impair your ability to interact with other individuals and won’t benefit you in the long run.
  • Most noteworthy, people go to parties to have fun, so criticizing you is probably not high on their priorities at that time. Therefore, smile and enjoy yourself!

Finally, practice these suggestions as much as you can, and soon your shyness will be a thing of the past. Let me know how you are doing! Cheers!

Dr. Jessica Diaz-Nagel

I am a bilingual psychiatrist, writer, and life coach from Caracas, Venezuela. I love helping people, reading, and writing on different health topics. In my spare time I like to take long walks, learn new things, and travel.