Cohabitating… Shacking up… Living together… Regardless, of how you say it, couples have decided to move in together before marriage.
Seventy percent of all women aged 30 to 34 have lived with a boyfriend. Living together before marriage in the U.S. has increased 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Today, it’s more than 7.5 million. Wow!
Why do couples choose to live together?
- Hoping it is a step toward marriage
- Want to see if they’re compatible
- Save money on rent
Well, you have to admit those are good reasons. However, for Christians, God doesn’t think so. We all know that, right? The reality is that 65 percent of Christian couples live together before marriage. I don’t know what that says about our society, but it is something we can’t pretend is not happening.
If my grandparents were here, they would be disappointed by the fact that I live with my boyfriend. I could explain to them that I’m in love, planning to marry, and so on. But they would not care about that. My parents on the other hand are from a different generation, so they are a bit more accepting.
I’m not so sure anymore when I became accepting of it. I met someone, we fell in love, and before I knew it we were living together. After a certain amount of time, I settled into it, even though I knew it wasn’t right. Like many of us, I justified why it was okay.
Many couples are choosing to be celibate until marriage. It can be done with a mutual commitment. (We are 10 months and counting.)
I am not promoting shacking up. Not at all. However, it wouldn’t do me any good to deny that I am part of that 65 percent. It’s my reality, although I hope it changes soon. What I will say is that as women we have to be clear on our intentions and be prepared to live with our decisions.
Do not move in with someone in hopes you’ll get married or to save money. Those are not good reasons! Never sacrifice who you are or what you believe for anyone. Living together does not make your relationship any more or less secure.